Travel Isn’t Our Escape — It’s How We Maintain Our Marriage
There was a time when we thought travel was an escape.
A reward after a busy season. Something fun to look forward to when life slowed down.
But somewhere along the way, Jamie and I realized something different.
Travel isn’t our escape anymore.
It’s our maintenance plan.
Life has been busy lately. Really busy.
Work has been intense. Our house has been full. There are schedules, responsibilities, family things, and the quiet emotional weight that comes with trying to support the people you love.
None of those things are bad. In fact, many of them are the things we care about most.
But when life gets full like that, something subtle can happen in a relationship.
You start running side by side instead of actually being together.
You pass each other in the hallway.
You talk about logistics.
You solve problems.
But the space for long conversations, laughter, and noticing each other gets smaller.
That’s where travel comes in for us.
Not as an escape.
As maintenance.
When we travel, the noise of everyday life gets quieter.
There are no laundry baskets waiting.
No dishes in the sink.
No reminders popping up on our phones.
Just time.
Time to talk.
Time to wander.
Time to sit somewhere with coffee and ask each other the kinds of questions we don’t always ask at home.
Sometimes those conversations are light.
Sometimes they’re bigger ones.
Questions like:
Are we doing too much right now?
Is this pace sustainable?
What actually matters most in this season of life?
Travel creates the space for those conversations.
And honestly, those conversations are one of the most valuable parts of the trip.
Right now we’re getting excited for our upcoming cruise.
It’s not about checking destinations off a list. It’s about something much simpler.
A few days to reset.
A few days to remember what it feels like to slow down together.
A few days where we can reconnect without the constant pull of everyday responsibilities.
Over the years we’ve learned something important.
Connection doesn’t maintain itself automatically.
You have to protect it.
For us, travel is one of the ways we do that.
It’s not an escape plan.
It’s our maintenance plan.
And honestly, that realization is part of what has made us start thinking differently about the kinds of trips we want to plan in the future.
Trips that make space for connection.
Trips where people can slow down, laugh together, and remember why they like each other in the first place.
We’re even starting to explore a few ideas like that this year, including a small Reds baseball weekend in Cincinnati.
Nothing complicated. Just a fun, relaxed trip with good people.
If that kind of travel sounds like something you’d enjoy, you can join the newsletter and I’ll share details when they come together.
But whether you ever travel with us or not, I’ll leave you with the question Jamie and I ask ourselves often.
What protects connection in your busiest season?
Because whatever that thing is for you…
It’s probably worth protecting.
💛 If you enjoy thoughtful travel and connection-first trips, join the newsletter here.
How I Plan Trips Without Overplanning Them ✈️
Travel planning used to feel like a performance. I thought being “prepared” meant having every hour accounted for, every option researched, every moment optimized. And honestly, it stole a lot of joy. I was so focused on doing it right that I forgot to let myself actually look forward to the trip.
These days, planning looks different. Softer. More human.
This week was a perfect example. Jamie and I spent a few evenings tossing around ideas — maybe a quick night away somewhere close, maybe a cozy couples hot‑tub room, maybe a weekend trip a little farther out. Nothing urgent. Nothing forced. Just exploring possibilities the way you’d wander through a store without needing to buy anything 🛍️.
And the next day we’ll sit down and book our excursions and flights for our April cruise. Even that feels lighter than it used to. Instead of treating it like a task to check off, it feels like a small moment of anticipation ✨. A reminder that something good is coming.
Where Overplanning Used to Steal Joy 😣
For years, I believed the only way to avoid stress was to plan everything. But the truth was the opposite. The more I tried to control every detail, the more pressure I put on myself — and the less present I was once the trip actually started.
I’d get so wrapped up in the schedule that I’d miss the moment right in front of me.
The Boundary I Build Into Every Trip Now 🚧
Now, I give myself one simple boundary:
If a plan starts feeling like a rule, I loosen it.
That’s it.
If something feels heavy, I step back.
If something feels rushed, I slow down.
If something feels like an obligation, I let it go.
It’s the gentlest boundary I’ve ever set, and somehow the most effective.
Leaving Space for Things to Unfold 🌙
One of my favorite parts of travel now is the space I leave open on purpose. Not empty time — open time.
Like the night Jamie and I wandered into a tiny café on a whim because the lights looked warm and the music sounded good. That moment wasn’t on any itinerary. It wasn’t researched or bookmarked or saved on a list. It just happened because we weren’t rushing to the next thing.
That’s the kind of magic I want more of.
Planning Without Turning It Into a Job 🧘♀️
Planning can support joy without suffocating it. It can give you a sense of direction without boxing you in. It can help you feel prepared without demanding perfection.
And sometimes the lightest planning moments are the sweetest — like scrolling through hotel rooms and laughing together at the ones with hilariously dramatic décor. (Why do so many places have neon lights behind the bed now? Who decided that was the vibe 😂)
Travel doesn’t have to be serious to be meaningful.
It just has to feel like you.
You’re allowed to leave room for magic. ✨
💛 If you enjoy thoughtful travel and connection-first trips, join the newsletter here.