Travel Isn’t Our Escape — It’s How We Maintain Our Marriage
There was a time when we thought travel was an escape.
A reward after a busy season. Something fun to look forward to when life slowed down.
But somewhere along the way, Jamie and I realized something different.
Travel isn’t our escape anymore.
It’s our maintenance plan.
Life has been busy lately. Really busy.
Work has been intense. Our house has been full. There are schedules, responsibilities, family things, and the quiet emotional weight that comes with trying to support the people you love.
None of those things are bad. In fact, many of them are the things we care about most.
But when life gets full like that, something subtle can happen in a relationship.
You start running side by side instead of actually being together.
You pass each other in the hallway.
You talk about logistics.
You solve problems.
But the space for long conversations, laughter, and noticing each other gets smaller.
That’s where travel comes in for us.
Not as an escape.
As maintenance.
When we travel, the noise of everyday life gets quieter.
There are no laundry baskets waiting.
No dishes in the sink.
No reminders popping up on our phones.
Just time.
Time to talk.
Time to wander.
Time to sit somewhere with coffee and ask each other the kinds of questions we don’t always ask at home.
Sometimes those conversations are light.
Sometimes they’re bigger ones.
Questions like:
Are we doing too much right now?
Is this pace sustainable?
What actually matters most in this season of life?
Travel creates the space for those conversations.
And honestly, those conversations are one of the most valuable parts of the trip.
Right now we’re getting excited for our upcoming cruise.
It’s not about checking destinations off a list. It’s about something much simpler.
A few days to reset.
A few days to remember what it feels like to slow down together.
A few days where we can reconnect without the constant pull of everyday responsibilities.
Over the years we’ve learned something important.
Connection doesn’t maintain itself automatically.
You have to protect it.
For us, travel is one of the ways we do that.
It’s not an escape plan.
It’s our maintenance plan.
And honestly, that realization is part of what has made us start thinking differently about the kinds of trips we want to plan in the future.
Trips that make space for connection.
Trips where people can slow down, laugh together, and remember why they like each other in the first place.
We’re even starting to explore a few ideas like that this year, including a small Reds baseball weekend in Cincinnati.
Nothing complicated. Just a fun, relaxed trip with good people.
If that kind of travel sounds like something you’d enjoy, you can join the newsletter and I’ll share details when they come together.
But whether you ever travel with us or not, I’ll leave you with the question Jamie and I ask ourselves often.
What protects connection in your busiest season?
Because whatever that thing is for you…
It’s probably worth protecting.
💛 If you enjoy thoughtful travel and connection-first trips, join the newsletter here.
How to Plan a Cruise Itinerary That Actually Feels Good
Plan once — enjoy your cruise without second-guessing.
There was a time when I planned cruises in layers.
First the ports.
Then the excursions.
Then, weeks later, the packing.
And somewhere between “Glacier Bay day” and “formal night,” I would realize my shoes didn’t match my plans. Or my plans didn’t match my energy. Or my outfits didn’t match either.
That’s when I started planning differently.
Not more.
Just together.
✨ The Problem With Planning in Pieces
Most people plan cruises like this:
• Pick the itinerary
• Choose excursions
• Later… figure out outfits
• On the ship… second-guess everything
It’s not that anything is wrong.
It just feels slightly disconnected.
You’re in a gorgeous port, but you didn’t pack the shoes that make it comfortable.
You booked a walking tour, but your dress choice says “sit quietly at dinner.”
You overpack because you’re unsure.
And uncertainty steals energy.
🧭 What Changed for Me
When Jamie and I started planning our ports and our outfits at the same time, something shifted.
If we booked a long walking day?
Comfortable, breathable layers.
If we planned a casual dock town?
Easy sandals. Crossbody bag. Sun protection.
If formal night fell after an excursion?
Something that still worked if we were a little tired.
Instead of planning in fragments, we built one cohesive flow.
And the cruise felt lighter.
🌊 A Gentle Cruise Planning Framework
Here’s the rhythm that works for us:
1️⃣ Start With Energy, Not Just Excursions
Before booking anything, ask:
How do we want this port to feel?
Relaxed?
Exploratory?
Photogenic?
Food-focused?
That guides everything.
2️⃣ Map the Port to the Outfit
If the excursion involves:
• Lots of walking → supportive shoes + breathable fabrics
• Boat rides → layers + wind-friendly hair plan
• Markets + photos → hands-free bag
• Formal dinner → consider what you’ll realistically feel like wearing
Now your suitcase has purpose.
3️⃣ Reduce “Backup” Packing
When your itinerary and wardrobe align, you don’t need five “just in case” outfits.
You pack with confidence.
And confidence weighs less. 🧳
💛 Why This Matters More Than It Sounds
Cruise days are full. Even relaxing ones.
The fewer tiny decisions you have to make on board, the more present you are.
You’re not standing in the cabin thinking,
“Did I pack the right thing?”
You’re standing on deck thinking,
“This is exactly what today needed.”
That’s the difference.
🌴 Our April Cruise
For our upcoming cruise (which I’ll be blogging in detail soon), I’m building itinerary pages and style pages side by side.
Not because it’s fancy.
Because it feels calm.
And calm travel is my favorite kind.
💬 I’m Curious
When you travel, do you:
A. Plan activities first, then pack later?
B. Plan outfits first, then fit activities around them?
C. Or do you map them together?
Tell me in the comments. I love seeing how different brains plan.
💛 If you enjoy thoughtful travel and connection-first trips, join the newsletter here.