Travel Isn’t Our Escape — It’s How We Maintain Our Marriage

There was a time when we thought travel was an escape.

A reward after a busy season. Something fun to look forward to when life slowed down.

But somewhere along the way, Jamie and I realized something different.

Travel isn’t our escape anymore.

It’s our maintenance plan.

Life has been busy lately. Really busy.

Work has been intense. Our house has been full. There are schedules, responsibilities, family things, and the quiet emotional weight that comes with trying to support the people you love.

None of those things are bad. In fact, many of them are the things we care about most.

But when life gets full like that, something subtle can happen in a relationship.

You start running side by side instead of actually being together.

You pass each other in the hallway.
You talk about logistics.
You solve problems.

But the space for long conversations, laughter, and noticing each other gets smaller.

That’s where travel comes in for us.

Not as an escape.

As maintenance.

When we travel, the noise of everyday life gets quieter.

There are no laundry baskets waiting.
No dishes in the sink.
No reminders popping up on our phones.

Just time.

Time to talk.

Time to wander.

Time to sit somewhere with coffee and ask each other the kinds of questions we don’t always ask at home.

Sometimes those conversations are light.

Sometimes they’re bigger ones.

Questions like:

Are we doing too much right now?
Is this pace sustainable?
What actually matters most in this season of life?

Travel creates the space for those conversations.

And honestly, those conversations are one of the most valuable parts of the trip.

Right now we’re getting excited for our upcoming cruise.

It’s not about checking destinations off a list. It’s about something much simpler.

A few days to reset.

A few days to remember what it feels like to slow down together.

A few days where we can reconnect without the constant pull of everyday responsibilities.

Over the years we’ve learned something important.

Connection doesn’t maintain itself automatically.

You have to protect it.

For us, travel is one of the ways we do that.

It’s not an escape plan.

It’s our maintenance plan.

And honestly, that realization is part of what has made us start thinking differently about the kinds of trips we want to plan in the future.

Trips that make space for connection.

Trips where people can slow down, laugh together, and remember why they like each other in the first place.

We’re even starting to explore a few ideas like that this year, including a small Reds baseball weekend in Cincinnati.

Nothing complicated. Just a fun, relaxed trip with good people.

If that kind of travel sounds like something you’d enjoy, you can join the newsletter and I’ll share details when they come together.

But whether you ever travel with us or not, I’ll leave you with the question Jamie and I ask ourselves often.

What protects connection in your busiest season?

Because whatever that thing is for you…

It’s probably worth protecting.

💛 If you enjoy thoughtful travel and connection-first trips, join the newsletter here.

Why We Keep Traveling Together

There was a time when travel felt like a reward. 
Something earned after a busy season. Something impressive. Something to “do right.” 

That’s not why we keep traveling now. 

We keep traveling because it’s one of the few spaces left where we can really be together without distraction. No half-listening. No multitasking. No rushing to the next obligation. Just shared time, shared moments, shared stories that don’t need to be documented to matter. 

One of the strongest reminders of this came on a simple trip, not a big one. We didn’t go far. There was no packed itinerary. But something shifted. We talked more. We noticed things about each other that had been buried under routine. We laughed at things that wouldn’t have surfaced at home. The trip didn’t change our relationship because of where we went. It changed it because we were finally in the same place, mentally and emotionally, at the same time. 

Travel has changed for us as life has changed. 

It used to be about squeezing everything in. Early mornings. Late nights. Checking boxes. Now it’s slower. More intentional. Built around energy, not ambition. Around presence, not performance. We leave space. We choose comfort sometimes over novelty. We plan knowing that people bring their whole selves with them, not just their excitement. 

And that’s exactly why it works. 

Showing up together matters more than the destination ever could. Because trips are rarely just about the trip. They’re about what happens when you step outside your usual patterns and see each other more clearly. They’re about remembering how to be teammates. About learning how someone rests. What they need. What they enjoy when nothing else is competing for their attention. 

You don’t need a bucket-list destination for that. 
You don’t need a perfect plan. 

You just need the choice. 

Travel is just another way of choosing each other. 

Not rushed or overstuffed.
Not built around proving we did everything.

Built around connection first.
Energy that fits.
Space to experience a place without losing each other in it.

💛 If you enjoy thoughtful travel and connection-first trips, join the newsletter here.